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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25667824">Moving Slowly</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fannibal/pseuds/broken_fannibal'>broken_fannibal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Broadchurch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(and not involving the main characters), (implied) - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Crying, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Cunnilingus, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Hand Jobs, Hugs, Kissing, Light Angst, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Coital Cuddling, Post-Season/Series 03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:06:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25667824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fannibal/pseuds/broken_fannibal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“We haven’t had sex in... well, a while. Months.”<br/>“Yes...” he said hesitantly.<br/>“I didn’t really feel like it. First, it was just stress, but then it was also the case, the Winterman case.” A small shudder went through her as memories resurfaced.<br/>His eyes widened as he understood, he nodded. A little over two months had passed since they’d closed the case, but it had stayed with him too. Thoughts about it crept up on him when he didn’t expect them, when he didn’t want them.</p><p>*</p><p>Some cases are easier to deal with than others. Sometimes a case gets under their skin and worms its way into their private lives. It takes time and patience to get back to some sort of normality.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>basically a fic in which both Alec and Ellie are more emotionally vulnerable than in the show. featuring lots of feels and softness and just so much caring and love.</p><p>in this fic I practically wrote them as I always do, aka they're really close and trust each other a whole lot and care <i>so much</i> about each other. except this time they're in a relationship.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When she got back from the bathroom, he sat in bed, reading with the small lamp switched on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie got under the covers. “Tell me when you’ve finished the chapter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over at her and frowned minutely, wondering what that was about. “Alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lay down on her side and nuzzled into the pillow. And then she watched him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several minutes later, he closed the book and put it on the nightstand along with his glasses. He lay down, turned onto his side and expectantly looked at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie shuffled closer and leaned in to kiss him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made a surprised noise, then she felt him push into the kiss. One of his hands cupped her cheek, the other came to rest on her waist, pulling her closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she tensed, her hands flew to his wrists and pushed them away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec pulled back and frowned at her. “What’s going on?” Worry swung in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not what I planned...” she said quietly. She couldn't meet his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled his hands from her grip and held them close to his body. “I’m not allowed to touch you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something in the tone of his voice made a shiver run down her spine. Not the good kind of shiver. The kind that made her worry if she’d fucked up. So she mentally took a few steps back, she needed to explain this to him. All of it. She took a deep breath. “We haven’t had sex in... well, a while. Months.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes...” he said hesitantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t really feel like it. First, it was just stress, but then it was also the case, the Winterman case.” A small shudder went through her as memories resurfaced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes widened as he understood, he nodded. A little over two months had passed since they’d closed the case, but it had stayed with him too. Thoughts about it crept up on him when he didn’t expect them, when he didn’t want them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And now it- the thought of having sex- still feels weird. Even though I know you. And I know you’re not that kind of man. But when when we found out who it was, when we talked to him...” She could feel goosebumps break out all over her arms. “It was horrible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec hummed and nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And...” She paused, hesitating, unsure. What use was it to bring that up now? She should have moved on years ago...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His soft voice pulled her from her thoughts. “You can say it, whatever it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at him and saw that his expression was so open and honest. It gave her the courage she needed. “That case also brought back memories of Joe,” she said quietly. “After I talked to Trish about how she felt, it seemed familiar in a way. Because after... after I found out what he did, I felt weird. I felt tainted and wrong. Sex and any kind of intimacy was off the table for a long time. And now, after this case, I can’t- even though it’s you and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>you and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>trust </span>
  </em>
  <span>you, I can’t push those thoughts aside. It was a man who did that to Trish, and I keep hearing her voice when we had her in for the interview, the way she described what was done to her. And then I remember us and it...” She took a deep breath. “I can’t separate that. I hate it but I keep remembering what happened to her. And I don’t know if I can really enjoy it like this.” She looked at him then, her heart beating wildly in her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec looked back at her for a while, his eyes sad. He slowly licked his lips. “We don’t have to. You don’t need to push yourself. Not for my sake or because you feel like you have to prove something. Not if you’re so uncomfortable with it.” His voice was so patient and gentle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I want to. Kind of. No, actually, I do. I want to. I want to again. But-” She inhaled shakily and shook her head. “When you touched me just now when you pulled me closer, all these thoughts came back. I can’t shut them out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “Then we’ll go slow. You’re in charge, you direct me, you tell me what to do. And if you want to stop at any moment, we will.” His voice sounded so earnest, so calm, so soothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie nodded and it took a moment until she found her voice again. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small smile appeared on his face. After a while, he said: “It’s similar for me. Sort of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” She looked at him in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With murder, I can at least somewhat understand the psychology. But rape is different. I don’t get it at all. It’s beyond me why a person would do that to another. It’s so horrible, so uncomfortable to even think about.” His expression darkened. “Sometimes...” he trailed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie waited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a minute of silence, he spoke. “Sometimes I hear her, Trish, I hear what she said when we interviewed her at the station, when she described what happened. I remember what a mess she was when we first talked to her. I remember that she broke down when we went to the crime scene with her. It won’t let me go. A man did that to her and it turned her life upside down.” His voice wavered and he wiped his hands over his face. When he continued, his voice was so quiet she had to lean closer to catch the words. “Sometimes it feels like- Sometimes I worry that I might be capable of it. Not on purpose but... accidentally. Not checking in enough just once, not properly asking for consent one time, that’s all it would take. It’s not exactly the same but close enough.” He looked up then, his eyes soft, his expression vulnerable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like she felt. Ellie nodded. “I understand.” Then, after a while, she asked: “So you want to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a short moment, he nodded. “Yeah, I think I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gave a small smile. “What you said earlier about taking it slow, having me be in charge... would that help you too? To make you feel more comfortable?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She took one of his hands in her own and gently squeezed it. “What you said to me also goes for you. If you’re uncomfortable at any point and want to stop, say it and we will. No judgement, no hard feelings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hummed. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie leaned in to kiss him then. Slow and gentle. She slid her hand up his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He returned the kiss, not deepening it, not changing the pace. But he kissed just as desperately as she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie pulled one of his hands to her waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He squeezed gently and shifted a little, shuffling closer. “Is that okay?” His voice was quiet, she could feel his breath on her cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie nodded and leaned in to kiss him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he pulled back and tried to meet her eyes. “Can you answer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did, I nodded.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a shaky breath. “Could you say your answer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Now she understood. She nodded. “Okay.” Then: “Yeah, that’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he said with a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled back and leaned in to kiss him again. Slow enough to give him plenty of time to pull back should he want to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They kissed for a while longer, gentle and unhurried, their bodies slowly inching closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie pulled at one of his hands, slid it up to her chest under her shirt, to her breasts. He gently touched her and brushed over a nipple, closely watching her expression for any sign of discomfort. But she sighed and her eyes fluttered shut. Her hand still rested on his wrist. She could pull him away any time she wanted to. And that calmed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while, she pushed at his hand again, slid it down her belly. She let go for a moment to push down her pyjama pants, then pressed it up against her. “Touch me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He curled his fingers a little and pressed against her through the fabric of her underwear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She licked her lips then and leaned in to kiss him again. She could feel her clit throb, could feel herself getting wet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Alec felt it too. He felt the fabric grow damp at first and then wet under his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie rolled onto her back and pulled her knickers down, not bothering to kick them off all the way. She shivered a little, she suddenly felt so exposed. But not uncomfortably. That was good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand didn't move, it hovered over her thigh now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She spread her legs a little and reached out to pull him closer until he was pressed up against her side. “Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “Yeah.” And he curled against her and let himself be pulled into a kiss. He ran his fingers up the inside of her thigh before he touched her. Gently caressing at first, then he slowly pushed inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gave a little moan when she felt his fingers breach her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then she heard Trish’s words again, what she had said in the interview and the pleasure faded, discomfort took over. She couldn't let it, she didn't want to. She turned her head to look at Alec.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he wasn't looking at her, his eyes were almost closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt him press in a little further. It made her shudder, she couldn't do it... she couldn't. “Stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Immediately, he stilled. His eyes met hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie averted her eyes, she took his wrist and pulled his hand away. She took a shaky breath when his fingers slipped out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellie?” His voice was so soft, so gentle. “Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, she looked back at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talk to me. What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard her voice again,” Ellie said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Alec’s eyes widened. “Maybe we shouldn't do this, not yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie gave a frustrated sigh. “But I don't think things will ever go back to normal if we don't do something about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec thought about that for a moment. Then he nodded. He wiped his fingers dry on his shirt. “What was it exactly that made you want to stop?” He looked at her again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie took a deep breath and nervously licked her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take all the time you need to answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled softly. “Thanks.” She turned onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow. It took her a while to answer. “Your fingers... when you pushed them inside.” She spoke slowly, hesitating on nearly every word, trying to find a way to say it that didn't sound like what Trish had said. It still made her shudder. “It was good, it felt good for a moment but then I heard her words again...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec reached out and caressed her shoulder. His brow was furrowed in thought. Then after a while, he spoke: “What if- no, I should...” He shook his head and started again. “Do you think you’re you up for anything else tonight or should we stop completely and try again another day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie considered it for a moment. “Depends on what we’d do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” He nodded. “Would it be different, less... uncomfortable, if it was my mouth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at him in surprise. That hadn't even occurred to her. “Could be. It’s worth a try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie nodded. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec smiled at her and leaned in for a kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hummed and cupped his face in a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while, he pulled back. “How do you want me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie couldn't help but laugh a little. “That’s not something I ever thought I’d hear you say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled quietly, she saw a faint blush appear on his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still grinning, Ellie gently pushed at his shoulder. She guided him between her thighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec hooked his finger into the waistband of her underwear and looked up at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. “You can take them off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he had, he hooked one of her legs over his shoulder and shuffled closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie sank one of her hands into his hair and gently pushed him closer. The first lick made her shiver, that shiver morphed into full-body shudder when he closed his lips around her clit and sucked. She sighed. “Ohhh, that’s good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hummed, his mouth still on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elie gasped and arched her back but her eyes never left Alec’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, Alec had practically gotten lost in it, the taste of her, the feel of one of her hands in his hair, the other on his shoulder, both caressing and holding him there. She was his sole focus, nothing else occupied his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gasped and ground her hips against him, he felt her twitch and clench as her orgasm approached. He licked and sucked her all the way through it, until her muscles relaxed and she gently pushed at his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned back and propped himself up on his elbows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked a little dazed but a happy, carefree smile formed on her face when she saw him looking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt an answering grin appear on his face. Quickly, he wiped his mouth before shuffling up to lie down next to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie turned her head and pulled him into a kiss. Their lips met, slow and tender.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should I give you a hand?” she asked quietly, her eyes flicked to his crotch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had only pulled back a fraction, had stayed close enough so he could feel her breath on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want.” His voice was just as quiet as hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I do.” She nodded and slowly pushed his briefs down. She took a moment to look at him, his cock was hard, deep red, precome was smeared over the tip. Ellie wrapped a hand around him, stroking him slowly at first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, he groaned and his eyes fluttered shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she realised she had missed hearing this. Him. Hearing his sighs, his moans, the hitch of his breath when she found a sensitive spot. So she told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Christ, Ellie...” He exhaled shakily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled and kissed his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small whine escaped his throat and his head tipped forward so it came to rest against her shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt his hot breath against her skin. His hand brushed against hers, it settled on her arm, the other tightened in the sheets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Little whines and gasps spilled from his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sped up, settled her other hand over his hip and rubbed her thumb over his hip bone. And then she told him how beautiful he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes squeezed shut. “Ellie...” He took a shuddering breath and curled up a little more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He bit his lip as he came. Still, a desperate groan escaped him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When his breathing slowed, she leaned back a little to look at him. He still wore that blissed-out expression she loved so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie kissed his shoulder. He hummed and nuzzled into her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They lay together like that for a while, sticky, a little sweaty, their underwear around their thighs. But it didn’t matter. They lay in each other’s arms and it was warm, it was familiar, it was comforting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After lazily cleaning up, they settled back in, cuddling just like they had before. He had his arms wrapped around her waist, his face pressed against her neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held him close with her arms around his shoulder, one hand in his hair, her cheek against his forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peaceful and at ease, they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next morning as Ellie slowly woke up, she felt so comfortable. She was warm, the bed was soft.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then she heard a strange noise as the last tendrils of sleep let go of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes slowly opened. It took her a moment to process what she was seeing. But when she had, her eyes shot open. Suddenly, she felt wide awake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec was crying, downright sobbing right there next to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey...” She reached out to caress his shoulder. “Hey, what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head whipped up and his eyes shot open. He immediately turned his back to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie blinked, perplexed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sniffled and she saw him wipe over his face. He took several rattling breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you turn back around?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made a little protesting noise and his shoulders pulled up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please? I’m really worried.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed. And after a minute, he slowly rolled back over to face her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” She took one of his hands in her own and squeezed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec took a shuddering breath. “I woke up and I saw you sleeping next to me...” he said slowly. He sniffled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But why were you crying?” She couldn’t keep the concern from her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at her for a moment. His gaze was so intense. But then he looked away, at her shoulder, and quietly he began: “I saw you sleeping and you looked so peaceful, so calm. And-” His voice hitched, a quiet sob escaped his throat. “You looked so carefree and I started thinking about everything you’ve been through. And that you deserve none of it. You deserve so much better.” He took a shaky breath and new tears ran down his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie’s eyes widened. Her heart hammered against her ribcage and it nearly overwhelmed her because he cared </span>
  <em>
    <span>so much.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Of course, she had known Alec cared a lot, too much even. But hearing him say this, seeing him cry because he cared </span>
  <em>
    <span>about her</span>
  </em>
  <span> so much... It left her speechless and with tears prickling in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She inhaled shakily and shuffled closer, wrapping her arms around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Alec immediately pressed closer, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, his trembling hands came to rest at her sides.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t know what to say, she still felt too overwhelmed by her emotions. So she kissed his temple and quietly said: “I love you, Alec.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A great shudder went through him then and he held onto her even tighter. “Love you too. Love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart felt like it was about to burst. She held him close and ran her hand through his hair, gently caressing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec made a soft little noise and pressed even closer to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie bent her head and planted a kiss on his temple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After long minutes of silence, she said his name, quietly, softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” His voice was still a little rough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope you know that... even with everything that happened to me, I’m fine. I’m even happy. And none of it is even remotely your fault. You’re one of the reasons I’m so happy now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small choked noise escaped him, he could feel his heart starting to beat faster again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gently, Ellie pushed at him until she could see his face. His tear-streaked cheeks, his red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes. She wiped over his cheeks and smiled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lip wobbled and he smiled back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she couldn’t help it, she leaned in and kissed his forehead. And then his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one of his hands sliding up to settle at the side of her neck, he tilted his head and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hummed and leaned into it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand slid up, his thumb caressed her cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they pulled apart, tears glistened in both their eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec sniffled a little and looked at her, his eyes so soft, his expression so loving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellie felt a smile spread on her face. She took one of his hands in her own and brought them up to rest against her chest, directly over her heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt incredibly happy right here, with him. There had been a time when she’d thought she’d never truly be happy again. But here she was, despite everything. Here she was with a man who cared so much about her, who knew her intimately and loved her the way she was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had seen her at her lowest point, he had helped her, he had stayed with her and supported her without her ever having to ask. He had simply done it. Because he cared about her.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving kudos/comments! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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